The Holy Rhythm
Listen, Wait, Respond or Quick, Slow, Slow
James 1:19 (NIV)My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
Quick, slow, slow, quick, slow, slow. This is the rhythm of my mind, a learned dance from years of listening. Remember, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Quick, slow, slow, quick, slow, slow.
I need the constant reminder because I have so much to say. I want to tell a story that relates or sometimes doesn’t. I want to interject my opinion, but I’m not sure they want to hear it. I want to quote a Bible verse that applies, but the timing isn’t right.
Quick, slow, slow.
In our hurried world, we look for shortcuts, the way someone might hide burnt meat under a blanket of sauce. But the aches of others’ hearts need a healing marinade that penetrates the soul. Our prayerful attentiveness to the slow process invites the Holy Spirit to do the deep work necessary.
Quick, slow, slow
How do we listen to each other?
Each generation receives information in a slightly different way. Nurtured by cultural influences, we each interpret the world through that lens. Yes, there are nuances within individuals, so the following are generalizations for each age group.
Traditionalists or Silent Generation (born 1925 to 1945): This generation fights for relevancy. Often ignored, they need to see and hear them by honoring their position in society. I highly recommend The Value of Wrinkles website for more valuable tips.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 (NIV) Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers,
Baby Boomers (born 1946 to 1964): Boomers appreciate our genuine interest. We show it by nodding our heads, making eye contact, and occasionally a short verbal response like “I see”. Follow-up questions encourage them to explain the subject in depth. If they ask for input, respond with a clearly stated step-by-step response.
Philippians 2:3-4 (ESV): Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Generation X (born 1965 to 1980): Xers are very private. They choose their words carefully and share them with a select few people. Treasure those conversations and keep them confidential.
Proverbs 11:13 (NIV) A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
Millennials (born 1981 to 1996): Oh, does this generation love dialogue, but they abhor lectures. They love opportunities to foster growth and learning. After listening, we can suggest places for them to go to learn more. Avoid a hierarchical conversation; approach the subject with wonder, objectivity, and intent to learn something ourselves.
Colossians 4:6 (NIV) Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Generation Z (born 1997 – 2012): We may need to initiate the conversation with this generation; do so with open-ended questions. We need to be culturally aware but also authentic and transparent. They take in a great deal of information daily and will need space to process their answers verbally. We can be their sound boards as they learn to navigate the world around them.
1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV) Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity
Just like learning a dance, you may need to repeat the pattern in your head. But with practice, each of us can learn the rhythm of quick, slow, slow.
