Displaying items by tag: Fruitful
Empty nests do not equate to dissolved families. Celebrating our family identity keeps those relationships fresh and alive.
Although our nuclear family has transformed into an extended—and even long-distance—family, we still maintain our core identity. Who are we and what it means to be a member of this family changes over time as the children mature and add spouses, but that sense of family can always be there.
I asked my kids to give me a list of descriptors that described us. They immediately responded with silly, goofy, and weird. My son added “zany at times.” (Their friends say our family is not normal.) Don’t worry, they also included open, communicative, loving, adaptive, loyal, and close.
How would you describe your family? What is your family identity that keeps you close even when you are apart? Here are a few things we do; feel free to adopt and adapt to your family!
- Humor is an essential part of our relationships and keeps us in touch in a lighthearted way. We love puns like, “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!” (You heard the rimshot, right? Ba-dum-SHH) Whether we laugh or groan, it’s a simple way to connect and requires little-to-no response. It simply says, I thought of you today!
- Communication is key but doesn’t need to be constant. Regular and diverse forms such as phone calls, texts, video chats, and visits all work together for this. It allows us to keep our relationships a priority. But be flexible, and give each other grace; just because you didn’t hear from them in the past week doesn’t mean they don’t care. It means they are living an active life. When you do talk, learn to be an active listener. Reflect to them what they are sharing so that they know you are engaged.
- Shared Experiences: Occasionally, we choose a show series or movie to watch. We don’t watch it at the same time, but we set aside time to discuss it. The content ranges from light to serious to a little bit of both. The point is to connect—you don’t have to be together to be together!
- We regularly meet with extended family on both sides of the family. This reaffirms our relationships with our core family, reunites us with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and promotes the value that family is important. Of course, it depends on your family dynamics and who is willing to participate. For us, it’s not a coerced event, and our kids participate eagerly.
- Share hospitality. Friendly reception of their friends increases your family reach. When college friends came to our house for short visits, we tried to embrace them as our own, doing our best to make them feel welcome. Not only does this show love to the friends, but it also honors your kids’ and makes them feel loved as well.
- Keep an Open-Door Policy. Our ongoing relationship needs to be a place of security. No matter their choices in life, they need to know they are an accepted part of the family Luke 15;11-32). We may not agree with you, but we will always love you. Love outshines our opinions; they know what we believe.
My son summed it up this way, “We’re all so comfortable with one another. We celebrate our strengths and support each other in our weaknesses. We enjoy our similarities as well as what make us each unique.”
We’re not a perfect family. We get frustrated and annoyed with each other at times. But we work hard to see past the frustrations to celebrate and support each other.
What does your family value? I’d love to hear about how you would describe your family identity. Send me an email and tell me all about it!
We volunteer at an inner-city community nonprofit on a regular basis. I love the people, and some are becoming like family. As I planted flowers, some of the neighborhood boys asked to help. Carefully, I showed them how to pull the plants out of the plastic pots. I explained how to pull the roots loose as to better spread in the new soil. Finally, I demonstrated the depth of the hole they were to dig. Two of the boys worked together on planting one plant and decided that was enough.
“What else can we do Ms. Leslie?” They asked
“UH…” at a loss I looked around. I noticed large chunks of dirt clods in the new soil. “Break apart the clods!”
And they did. With great glee they hacked away at the chunks. It was fun to see the boy’s exuberance as they went about their task. As the dirt flew around me, their excitement inspired me to complete my job. The joy of children makes any job fun even with dirt raining down on me.
In John 10:10, Jesus promises to give us life “and have it to the full”. Other Scripture versions use the word abundant for full. Abundance means we have more than we need of something. It is an overwhelming supply. A full to the maximum resource. An abundant life, the “Zoe” in the Greek, is one that is full and vibrant. It is a genuine life that is full of gratitude, one that recognizes that God blesses each of us. These blessings are not necessarily financial or even health but rich in relationship - the joy in knowing that Creator God wants to spend time with me.
After a year of uncertainty, it’s harder to live this way. I realized my daily routine brought security that 2020 upended. Returning to the true source, Jesus, I find that inner joy.
Jesus promises this life to all who follow Him. It is not an event. It isn’t found through service or recreation. It is found through trust in Jesus. No matter the circumstance, God stays with us. Our advocate is standing up for us, walking through it with us, and inspiring us on to do whatever each day holds. This is the Zoe life. The life that is full and genuine. A life that is worth facing each day, knowing that the God of the universe invited us into something greater than ourselves. We are to embrace a Zoe attitude in all we do.
WHAT A GIFT to grasp this way of life, each day recognizing that Jesus relishes living this life with us, the Zoe life promised to us.
Enjoy this guest post from Nita Wilkinson. She shares her story of briding Generation Z to Traditionalists! Such an encouraging story! - Leslie
“It has been said that when everyone is certain that something can’t be accomplished, someone goes ahead and does it anyway.” Ira Thut, Manager of West Liberty Homes 1977
It all started with a bake sale. The small town of West Liberty had a dream of a “senior citizen village” that would allow them to age with purpose and dignity. The financing of $1 million had the dream fading. But a women’s sewing circle refused to give up. They planned a bake sale that netted $2,232, and the dream was taking shape. Seven years later, a legacy was formed.
“Our purpose is to meet the total needs – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual – of the older person, to offer a secure environment, a sense of dignity, and to help him retain his lifestyle. We believe in a ministry to the aging whose personal needs we have special concern. We believe in a ministry with the aging as we seek to involve them as partners in the total program. And we believe in a ministry of the aging in which their special gifts of maturity, understanding, vision, concern, and experience is recognized and utilized.”
Those words are so progressive. More than 40 years ago, in 1972, they spoke in terms that many aging services providers strive to live by today. Those words have driven the culture at Green Hills for 45 years.
That progressive thinking continues at Green Hills today with the Techy Teens Savvy Seniors program. The original objectives were to create an intergenerational mentoring program with the teens mentoring the seniors on technology. What happened was so much bigger than any of us imagined.
In the first meeting, there was some nervousness and shyness on both sides. As they met and learned about each other, there was just a great connection. The teens and seniors hit it off and formed close relationships that none of us anticipated. It originally was planned for once a month, but the teens begged to come more, so we did twice a month.
While the seniors happily learned about e-readers, smartphones, and social media, the teens quickly realized that these elders were a wealth of knowledge and experience. The teens wanted to build on the technology and the value of the elders, so they created many social media challenges that paired a senior with a teen. There were scavenger hunts, carpool karaoke, and the favorite activity; teaching the elders the whip and the nae nae.
When the new program was announced to the seniors, there was a lot of excitement. Many of them had smartphones and e-readers that they knew offered more than just phone calls. Marjorie couldn’t wait to learn how to send the same email to all her sisters. She was retyping the whole email for all 4 of them! One of the teens fixed her question the first day, and she was thrilled at how easy it was.
Ruth came to my office a couple of days after we announced the new program was coming. She had a brand new iPad, still in the box with the wrapper on it. She asked if the teens would help her figure out “what this thing was.” Her grandson proudly gave it to her for Christmas but didn’t advise her on using it. She took it to her next family Christmas with books, games, and social media on it.
The biggest surprise was how quickly the teens understood the value and experience the elders had. They were soon doing videos with interviews about their proms, their sports, and how the seniors navigated the computer era coming to their jobs that had always been paper.
The teens invited the seniors to a basketball game since several of the kids played or cheered for the local high school. The athletic director set up a VIP section for the seniors and gave them snacks “on the house” all evening. The teens also did a pizza “tailgate” with them before the game. The conversation filled the room with laughter and friendly banter.
Nancy, one of the elders, shared a memory of playing girls basketball when she was in high school. She reminisced and told Liz, a star girls basketball player and a techy teen, how she wished they could have played full court. Liz was appalled and said she would have fought it. Nancy explained that they were lucky even to get to play; no one even thought of asking for more. This was such an awesome moment as the kids realized how Nancy’s generation started opening doors, so they have so much available to them today.
The teens also put together a prom for the seniors at Green Hills, including those in the nursing center and assisted living. The young men dressed up and escorted the women in. (Even those in wheelchairs). They crowned a king and queen and fed them lunch.
What started as a simple program grew into life-long friendships. The teens invited their favorite seniors to their grad parties. And all of the savvy seniors were invited to the teen's graduation. The school once again embraced them by giving them special places to sit and immediately access the teens after the ceremony.
Several of the teens did a presentation about the program for a DECA competition and couldn't hold back tears during that presentation because they knew their time was coming to an end.
The techy-teens, savvy-seniors was beneficial to both generations in so many ways. They have all learned the value of others and how we learn from each other.
The relationships that formed were lasting. I never in my wildest dreams thought they would grow so close and continue to communicate long after the first round of teens graduated.
They understood how other generations live and that they both have so much to offer. The seniors learned how responsible the teens are as they handle jobs, get good grades, and still do extracurricular activities. And they have learned so much from each other.
Green Hills has benefitted from the energy and creativity of the teens. Many of them have become volunteers for events for all of Green Hills.
Bellefontaine High School has benefited from the experience and knowledge of the residents.
The world tells us teens are irresponsible and selfish and that elders are antiquated and useless. The Techy-Teens, Savvy Seniors will say to the world there is value in both generations and extra joy and love when you allow them to partner and share.
Ira Tuth would have loved to see these folks going ahead and doing it anyway!
Are you frustrated with the fractured society that has infiltrated the church? Anger, conflict, and division ripped through our country this last year. People were categorized allowing us to dehumanize them. BUT they are human - created in the image of God. We need to see each person as individuals. Young people look to their elders for example and accuse us of apparent hypocrisy. Jesus calls us to restore others – repairers of the breach in the King James. Isaiah 58:12 NLT Some of you will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls and a restorer of homes.
As I scroll through social media, my stomach flipflops to see the vitriol written. Brutal critiques of the “other side” continue to flow. Criticism from younger people bring tears to my eyes because they are partially correct. Offensive words put us on the defense, but I implore you to look beyond the acidic words and see the pain behind.
Together we can open an amicable discourse that encourages freedom to respectfully express opinions. We can each be the repairer of the breach we see in our communities. Where do we begin?
- We repent of any offense we are carrying. Ideologies divide our theology and that must stop. Humbly we go before our Lord and admit we do not have all the answers. Young and old in the church disagree about important topics but not the Gospel. If Jesus is Lord, we belong to the same family. We pray and live Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. NLT
- Listen to those that disagree with you. Not online, but in person or on the phone. Listen to the heart behind the opinion, the depth of knowledge behind it may surprise you. Our goal becomes understanding, building relationship and trust. Proverbs 12:15 Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others. NLT
- Instead of correcting their opinion, tell them why they are important to you and your community. Ask them how you can pray for them. Where are they struggling, how can you be an answer to their needs? Encourage them through Scripture, not to correct but to grow together. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. NLT
- Throughout your discourse, clearly state your mutual faith in Jesus. Our unity rests on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This is the nonnegotiable center of the relationship; Jesus is the Lord of our life. Centered on Him nothing else matters, let Him teach each of us to be more like Him. Galatians 1:11-12 Dear brothers and sisters, I want you to understand that the gospel message I preach is not based on mere human reasoning. 12 I received my message from no human source, and no one taught me. Instead, I received it by direct revelation from Jesus Christ. NLT
- Respectfully disagree if you feel it necessary. Make it clear, all opinions can be discussed if they are stated respectfully both by you and your young friend. No opinion should be held so tight that it damages the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Proverbs 18:2 Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. NLT
Each generation holds important characteristics to cherish in one another. Combining them together, the Holy Spirit interweaves us in ways beyond our understanding.
- Traditionalists bring wisdom of their experience.
- Baby Boomers get it done with their strong work ethic.
- Generation X join us with their ability to problem solve.
- Millennials strong desire to care for their community empower us to reach out.
- Generation Z’s pragmatic approach to life help us to ease into working in a diverse workforce.
It is true that Jesus said He would bring division (Luke 12:51-53) but the division occurs in recognizing the deity of Christ. We are divided by believers of the Gospel and those that reject it. Within the faith we need each other and we need to initiate the restoration of our church homes.
Thanksgiving 2020 feels like un-holiday. For many of us, extended family will not gather. Full tables with empty chairs make for a bleak celebration. Such an outlook can contribute to our despair instead of filling us with gratitude. We need to tilt this holiday on its side. This year will be different but not bad. Gratitude, the center of this holiday, focuses on what we celebrate the good opposed to focusing on what we’ve lost.
In the book Beautiful Resistance by Jon Tyson, he highlights the importance of celebrating God’s goodness. This reminds us that He provides the blessings in our life. It forces a pause to look for the good in the busyness of life that we often overlook. I don’t want to do that anymore; I want to embrace the good.
There are multiple Hebrew and Greek words used for the word good throughout Scripture. Its complexity becomes apparent when we search it out. Good, such a simple word, how could it be so complex? The difficulty rests in using words to describe our God. His perfect holiness transcends our own understanding and words fail. Good describes one’s nature as pleasant, agreeable, joyful and happy but it also means excellent, distinguished, upright and honorable. It describes the personality as possessing integrity, virtue, and purity. Further we see it described as precious and beautiful, full of kindness with an upright heart. Wrap that all up with gentleness, mildness, and meekness.
Read through those words again. Let the richness of each word envelop you with its strength and comfort.
Studying God’s goodness reminds me of a plentiful feast. After a season in which much was stripped away, we find a rich banquet set before us. We crave refreshment and sustenance as we sit down to God’s rich table. We take a bite, savoring the flavors as they stimulate our neglected taste buds. At the end of the meal we sit satisfied that God’s goodness met every need. When we nourish ourselves on the complexities of the word it revitalizes us, feeding the joy inside of us.
Psalm 23:6 reminds us that God’s goodness pursues us. God sends good, pleasant, agreeable, and beneficial circumstances into our lives for our welfare daily. Our job is to look for it. Even in times of suffering, good will surface. Caught up in what we don’t possess blinds us to the present blessings. We simply need to turn and let the goodness chasing us catch and surround us. No matter what God is good. That is worth celebrating.
Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.