I didn’t think it would be a problem for me. An empty nest was much harder than I anticipated. I’m aging and not always gracefully. I had higher expectations of myself. Yet I felt a little used up.
I have gotten used to my kids not being here. Those college years were great transition years for them and for me. I like that our life’s pace has slowed. I appreciate that our time is in fact our time. No more parent meetings. No more performances or sporting events to attend. I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy them. I did. But honestly, especially their high school years, their events dominated our calendar. We attended countless band concerts, orchestra performances, plays and musicals. We cheered on our youngest in every swim meet she swam in. We volunteered to make food, take tickets, chaperone trips, upload stats to the team website, and time races. We worked band festivals, sold concessions and the list continues. I would do it again in a heartbeat but I’m glad that season is finished. For the most part, my time is back to being my time.
So what do we do with this time? What is fun? What is interesting? What brings joy and satisfaction? These questions are harder to answer than I thought. I wish I had written down what I was yearning to do when we were knee deep in kid’s schedules. But those crazy years flew by. Was there time to make lists? If I had would I be able to find them now? Probably not! You may be better organized them me however. If you made a list don’t tell me.
Part of me can’t remember what I enjoyed 26 years ago. My before children days, were filled I’m sure. Of course I worked full time. I was taking graduate classes. We camped in the summer, sleeping in a small back packing tent when our backs were young and agile. That for sure isn’t going to happen now. If you know me you know my love for coffee. I can talk for hours.
So now, with time, I can rediscover recreation with other people. I like people. I want to share my time with them. After all, this life is all about relationships. Settle down my introverted friends. You too need friends. Whether we are together in a large group or sharing time one on one. I believe the key to finding fun is building relationships. These friends should be older, younger and just about the same age.
Are we up for adventures? What consists of adventures in the empty nest years? Is it spontaneous day trips? Is it planned dinners with friends? The most important act however, is just that. We have to stop talking about it and start doing it.
I suppose I define adventure a little differently now. I’m not looking for danger I’m looking for more than just fun. I’m looking for restoration. I’m seeking rejuvenation. I’m hungry for recreation that does what the true sense of the word means. Recreating my soul and spirit. Giving it new life in a new season. We rest in Him so that He is the source of our renewal. The empty nest isn’t the end of something it is the beginning. Recognize we, as older women, are recreated for a new purpose. Colossians 3:10 tells us that we are “Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.” (NLT) This is a daily process. He is continuing to make us new. Continuing to help us work out our salvation. He is far from done with us.