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on Monday, 02 July 2018. Posted in Devotionals

. I will always disappoint someone and that is okay.



I didn’t set out to lead. I was just following Jesus. I was doing what I love and that placed me in front of others. I looked behind me and was surprised to see that others were following. For eighteen years I’ve been leading in one form or another in my church.  
I wish I could say I was more intentional in my path to leadership. Honestly, everything of importance I have found myself doing I didn’t see coming. Yes, I made decision that put me on certain paths but I didn’t have this destination in mind. Yet, here I am. 
One of the continuous hurdles I need to jump over is people pleasing. It really does feel like this is a life-long race. As my leadership roles increase the hurdles become higher but so does my ability to leap over them. 
At times I care too much about what others think. I want everyone’s support. But in a world full of opinions that is an impossible goal. Listening to That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs pod cast, Alli Worthington said “It is not a sin to disappoint others.” It startled me to realize that my brain agreed with this statement but my heart did not! My heart longs for approval but that is not God’s way. Fear of disappointing others is a sister to people pleasing and there is where the sin lies.  I will always disappoint someone and that is okay. 
As a nation, the United States is in a season of extreme public criticism.  Everyone has an opinion and they know they are right. Fingers point, accusing others of what is wrong in this world. This public pressure has pushed me toward timidity. I crumble under unbending accusations. I struggle with the right words and that ever present fear that I will disappoint. The fears run deep. Don’t be mad at me. Don’t reject me. 
To please everyone we have to compromise who we are. This dilutes us until we are just a watery mess of our original design. I don’t what that. I want to be who God meant me to be. Can you relate to these thoughts? Does it grieve you as it does me to see and hear so much negative rhetoric thrown around society by Christians and those outside the faith? It chips away at my hope for the church when I hear divisive language.  
Then I remember the opinion of man has no power over me. There is only one whose opinion holds weight. Lord, how do you feel about me? Your word says I am your Beloved, your treasure. I am created in your image. Each day as I cry out and you wash me with your redemptive power. Creating me fresh. Producing in me your righteousness. I will each day depend on you to reflect your goodness, your love toward others, who are created in your image as well. All to impact others for your kingdom. All to enrich the lives of others so they are drawn to you. Help me Lord to be an ambassador for YOU in this dark and dreary world. 
If you too, struggle with this. Know you are not alone. I’ll pray for you if you pray for me. Dear gentle friend you are not alone. You are loved. Pray for the church. Pray for our nation. Pray for this world. Hope is alive. 
Romans 5:5 (NLT) And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.