Crafting Your Coffee Klatch
Or how I insulted a famous guy's wife.
You need a group of friends you can rely on. Some call it a posse or squad but that doesn’t really work for me. I’m not a horse-riding, law-enforcing kind of woman. I prefer the term “coffee klatch.” “Klatch” is a German word meaning to gather for light conversation or gossip. Throughout history, women have gathered together to ex-change tidbits of their lives with one another. But often we have preferred to exchange tidbits of other peoples’ lives with one another. That’ a problem.
We've got to redeem the definition and perception of such a group, especially with a definition like that. But let’s talk about that for a moment. Women seem to have a natural propensity for gossip. Friend, we must be aware of it and avoid it at all costs. Scripture instructs to steer clear of it (see Ephesians 4:25-32). If you’re not sure you have permission to say something, don’t.
Years ago, I was at a public event. My friend and I saw a sports celebrity she had worked with in an advertising campaign. She then began to share the difficulties she experienced working with him. I then shared something I had observed at another event. We exchanged a few more comments, both of us made others around us aware that we were in the know. We didn’t actually know the man personally, but we had experienced him firsthand. Then it happened. We were interrupted by another woman. It turned out to be his wife. Talk about an awkward moment! Embarrassed, we continued on in silence, down what felt like a never ending staircase.
Friend, please learn from my mistake. We spoke about situations that were true but not ours to share and it was hurtful to others around us. Scripture is clear: gossip in any form is wrong.
Your coffee klatch should be a place to share your heart, not a place to share rumors and idle talk. Build relationships within your home church for support and strength. We are such relational beings. People that “get” us are precious. They are safe. Be that precious person for someone.
So, how do you build a safe, godly coffee klatch? Well, first let me clear something up: this is not about the coffee. I make this suggestion to women and their first response is “I don’t drink coffee.” That is not the point. Socializing with like-minded women is the focus. You decide your common interest. Your “coffee klatch” could be a book club, Bible Study, or a running group. But make sure you do more than the activity: purpose to support one another.
My coffee klatch is the Dragonfly Ministry. These are the women who believe in God’s call in this ministry. They offer their gifts and prayer support to see God move. It encourages me and humbles me. It relieves what can be a lonely burden of leadership. It is a gift to know I am not alone.
The women who support me don’t necessarily meet together. They are the individual women I trust with my inner thoughts. One of these women is my walking buddy, and she is my true safe place. With her I share ideas, vent frustrations, and rejoice over blessings. She is interested in my well-being and I am invested in hers. There is beauty in a trusted friendship. A place, where confidences are shared and kept, is treasured. This is the type of friendship community fosters. Do you long for this kind of friendship? Be this kind of friend. Excerpt from Legacy by Leslie Schonfeld